This has been a tough week. Monday afternoon I found out that a 24 year old neighbor who had been living with his parents around the corner committed suicide. He had been suffering serious depression since his mission, but had refused any help. Obviously they had no idea how bad it was. I stopped by briefly to offer my support, but the rest of Monday afternoon I was quite a "basketcase," too sensitive to the kids' noise, and antics. Instead of drawing them to me in gratitude, I was in mourning, and couldn't handle their normal childishness. FHE went by the wayside as Nels got the kids doing their dishes, and I stayed in my room crying, reading BHG magazine (for distraction) and praying to understand what I needed to and let it go. Questions/thoughts: How is [his Mom] going to survive (she was the one who found him)? How does the Lord make good out of something like this? Thank Heaven (literally) that we don't have to judge! Thank Heaven God judges us on the intents of our hearts, and makes allowances for accountability! Knowing Jay, I have faith that all will be well. Finally, I gave it over to the Lord, knowing there was no more I could do than what I was doing, including praying for them. I had faith that all will be well. I've been able to go to work and carry on in a normal way with faith. The funeral scheduled for today had to be postponed because his mom was hospitalized. That's the best place for her right now. She is such a sensitive person, this is absolutely HORRIBLE for her. All of us sisters in the ward with our "mother hearts" are just weeping for her, (see Julie B. Beck's talk, "A Mother Heart, " Ensign, May 2004). A couple of sisters are putting together a special quilt for her that we can all donate to so that we have an outlet for need to help her.
Nels sat next to Jay on Sunday in Priesthood meeting that afternoon. (A woman would wonder what they could have said to help him. Logical Nels knew better.) He and Jay's dad, Stuart, are good friends, and share an interest in real estate investing. They were scheduled to attend a seminar together Th/F/S of this week, and Stuart asked Nels to continue to attend it for him. Stuart and the rest of the family are handling it very well. There is a married older brother, and younger twins, (both of whom used to babysit our kids), and all are very grounded in faith in Jesus Christ.
Prayers are welcome. Donations are being taken at Zions Bank for the Jay Wentz Memorial fund.
God bless that family, and God bless us all!
2 comments:
I am so sorry to hear about your neighbor. That is the saddest thing for any family to have to go through. How devistating! I'm sure he had to have had severe mental problems to let it go that far. Kevin goes on a lot of suicide calls at work. I am so sad for the suffering everyone goes through with those situations. I guess the only thing you really can do is pray for the family.
I am so sorry for your dear friends and their loss. I can't imagine what they are going through.
I am sorry for the impact on your family as well, I know how saddend we can be even when it is not "our" loss.
I will pray for them as well.
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