Our Courtship Story, Part Five

Nearly done now...this is the next installment of a series I'm doing about our courtship in honor of our 20th anniversary this week. They're long, so don't feel obligated to read them! To see all of them (in reverse order) click on the "Courtship story" label at the bottom of this post.

I went home to Draper for Thanksgiving weekend. I was to help my family pack for their imminent move to Columbus Ohio. My mom asked me about Nels over that weekend, and I told her of my mixed feelings. She told me later that she thought that maybe it was a good thing they were leaving and that I wasn’t going to be able to go out to Ohio for Christmas, because maybe I’d come to depend on him more with them not around. Nels was thinking the same thing!

He took pity on me when he got back and invited me to got to the First Presidency Christmas Fireside with him. Ever the gentleman, he took my hand to help me down the steep Marriott Center steps. When we got to our row, I didn’t let go of his hand like I usually did. Pivotal moment! He was ecstatic, and grinning inside. But part of the First Presidency Fireside involves a sing-along, and you stand up and sit down for those parts. That meant that we had to let go of hands. I remember thinking, "Darn!" But then when we sat down again, he took my hand back - every time!! Sigh, it was heavenly. We’re just sitting there grinning together.

So things changed. Christmas was magical that year. He took me to the Messiah sing-in at the Provo Tabernacle. We went to the lights at Temple Square. I started sitting next to him on the bench seat of his car. (His roommate recognized the accomplishment one day when he drove past us, and knew how long that had been in coming, "Yeah, Nels!") We spent hours putting together puzzles. (Several of our Christmas traditions stem from the activities of that year.) It snowed and snowed and snowed that year, and we had snow ball fights. He was my missing family. He told me of his intentions to date me for a while, and if things worked out like he was expecting them to, he’d ask me to marry him someday. We were in "La-la Land". Marilyn’s prophecy was being fullfilled.

After church on Christmas day morning, we went up to Sandy to my Aunt Carol & Uncle Glen’s house, although getting through the blizzard to go was quite a fun accomplishment. Christmas day he asked me why I didn’t want to be kissed? ...huh?? (What planet was he on?)

Still, he did not kiss me. He was making me want it and want it bad. Finally two days later as we were saying goodnight, I finally kissed him quick and then I was in the door. I had been kind of hard to read, as inexperienced as I was, but he also knew I’d want it more if he made me wait. Part of his negotiating skills, I understand now! Then things were even better, more committed.

Winter semester brought changes. Nels’ brother Karl, home from his mission, moved in with Nels in Hobb’s House. Their brother Chris brought his girlfriend Harlene up for a visit while his sister Heather and her husband Curtis were visiting for a skiing weekend. Karl broke his back in a tubing accident, and I spent a lot of time over there helping him out. It was a good excuse to hang out there.

We went to Preference January 25th. My invitation to him was a book entitled "Messages" I found in the discard section of the library which I hollowed out in the shape of a heart, and put in the invitation. :) He loved it.

Back in school and very busy, Nels wasn’t as attentive as he had been before. He started the hardest class of his school career, one of those weeding classes that everybody fails at least the first time around. But he didn’t communicate that to me, he just became much less available to me.

Then I made the mistake of putting together a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend in late February. He HATES surprises, especially when he’s the center of attention. He barely participated.

He was also going through a time where he was questioning if he could be everything he needed to be if he married me - the committed husband, fully-there dad, all of it. He was stressing out, both from me and from school, and it was showing in his relationship with me. I was so frustrated. One day I found Karl after one of his classes, and cried on his shoulder, "I love your brother, and I just don’t know what to do." Karl had seen others of Nels’ girlfriends go through experiences like this, so he just patted my back, comforting me but with no hope of his own for me.

Then Nels dropped that class, and made some decisions, all about the same time, and things improved. Dramatically. Things became so good that we could talk all we wanted about our future, even though we hadn’t made any commitments yet. One thing we talked about was how I wanted to be married in the Salt Lake Temple. That time was so peaceful. We both felt sure about it, but not ready for the formal commitment yet. People would ask us, "Is it official yet?" And we’d look at each other, and smile at them and say calmly, "No, not yet." It was a very comfortable, peaceful place to be. Other couples we enjoyed hanging out with were Nels’ cousin Scott Beckstrand and his fiancé, Tamra, and Nels’ friend Mark Lowry and his wife Peggy. (Some of my readers know them well...)

Times were good.

To be continued...